flockas: digivolves: who the fuck uses email still people that need an appropriate way to tell their professors that they will suck some big things for an A!! Can I get an amen!!!
lameborghini: *sends u nudes but just as a friend*
jimbertimber: coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
onehellofasuperwhomerlockavenger: richarcl: imagine someone hot having a crush on you HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HA NO
earthnation: will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
bibliobimbo: in my house there are only two water temperatures: winter is coming and fire cannot kill a dragon
snorlaxatives: miranda cosgrove turned 20 today but to me she will always look like this
sluttyoliveoil: haha if youre bored you could kiss me idk just sayin
hamburgay: “beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan
roseisreturning: mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths
hipsterinatardis: Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
chefboyardeezie: the guy who invented lasagna must have been like YOOOOOO
Maybe if your dick was thicker than your goddamn eyebrows we wouldn’t be having...– Gay couple arguing outside Walmart (via neck-deep)
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
therealhorusszahhak: This guy at my school shows up every day with like a fake wolf tail clipped to his back belt loop, and I always see him running from class to class and jumping over things and he looks so happy to exist and sometimes he brings a lil wolf puppet with him and he makes it run along next to him on the strings I’m just like u go wolf kid live ur dreams
kosplaybaby: if you ever call me cute i will think about it all day and when i go to sleep i’ll just be a little burrito of blankets and i will whisper quietly “they called me cute”
goobsohard: The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”
sorryforpartybarackin: its so rude when you try to be nice and hold the door open for people but they won’t come in the stall with you
spotifylistener: when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there